Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Plus Size Knee-His, or why Matt needs more training in women's undergarments

Ha! "Plus Size Knee-His" - that rhymes. Not much is going on here today (although I did get a phone call from Nigeria, from a student's parent who needed to speak with Matt) so I thought I would share this story.

Matt is not so good at getting me gifts. He wouldn't know this if I was better at lying. (Is that the correct spelling? I mean to say telling an untruth rather than being in a horizontal position or putting an object into a horizontal position. What is the rule for that anyway?) It all started the Christmas he gave me a huge container of red licorice and a shirt that said "Someone at USF love's me." Obviously, he should have known that I like black licorice and have no patience for misplaced apostrophes.

This Christmas, I excitedly opened my stocking, stuffed by darling Matt, to discover a package of black knee-hi stockings. Great, I wanted those to wear with black dress pants because I don't love panty hose. Unfortunately, there was a big "Plus Size!" splashed across the front of the package. I may not be extra small, but I am certainly not "Plus Size!" I had to explain this to Matt, and he took it like a man. Turns out, he had seen the label, but thought it meant there were bonus stockings inside, like when your bag of M&M's comes with "20% more"!

We've only been married a year and a half. I won't really expect him to bring home clothing in my correct size until our 5th anniversary. :-)

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