Monday, March 07, 2005

disappointment

This is the week I give up. I'm applying for a job totally outside the library field. Thankfully, it is in an area that I have some experience and that I enjoyed working in previously.

But I'm still giving up. I watched a Suze Orman special on PBS yesterday, "For the Young, Fabulous, and Broke." Suze advised recent grads to hold out for a job they love even if it's low pay. She said don't take another job if it's not what you want.

Well, Suze, I'm not listening. If this job is offered to me, I'm going to take it. Because I need to do something. (Secretly, though, I continue to check several websites that list library jobs in NC and GA. I've been checking since last May and there's only been one (ONE!) close enough to where we live that I could apply. I didn't get it.) Now, if this job isn't offered to me, I'm sending letters to every public library in a 45 minute radius begging them to hire me, or even just give me an internship. Something that will reassure I didn't waste two years and thousands of dollars pursuing what is fast becoming a pipe dream.

I was prompted to write this because I'm not the only disappointed one. On the Nexgen Librarian listserv scads of newly degreed librarians testify that they too have been unable to secure a professional position. I see my friends - bright, creative, well-educated and caring people - be rejected for acceptance to Phd programs, wait for months to hear back from personnel committees (or sometimes never hear at all), and take incredibly low wage jobs.

Ultimately, this disappointment leads me to worry about the future. Will I ever be able to get a professional library job, especially if I work in another field entirely? What if I can never get a full time job (it always seems I'm either over- or under-qualified)? Can Matt and I raise a family on one income, a teacher's salary at that?

They made it sound so easy in school.

2 comments:

Dado said...

MO: I am now watching Suzie's show where she said do not take the second or third choice job. You need to hear Dado's career history from this point of view. But it is too long for this message.

Suzie has to be completely, firmly positive but life does not work that way. Remember the choice of jobs varies so enormously from one region to another. Why did I end up in Washington? Not just because I could get an education at night but where I could get a job close to my field. Your dearest love for libraries and books is worthy but requires flexibility now as hard bound books are secondary to information in electronic form [evident from your blogspot]. The job for which you are applying may be closer to your "LOVE" than it may seem in the abstract but think of the merit of being influencial in some young students life toward gaining an edcuation which they might never have been encouraged to do.
(You must listen to your Dado's career story in detail-in person.) You will be surprised that my true career love was only reached when I was 65 years of age. The apparent roadblocks within my career field seemed like oceans but no one could have had more satisfaction than I have had in my Nuclear Materials Research followed by my Financial Management
career in "so-called" retirement.
Cheer up as you have a GUIDE far greater than most we pay so much attention to in our normal lives. I can recite from personal experience.

Love Dado

lydiecita said...

I'm fighting with the open doors/close doors cliche, but even in all my own disappointment, perhaps what speaks most clearly, all over again, are those annoying reassurances that God's hand is in this, even if "this" is simply your life. God is with you. God will not let your talent go to waste, nor will God ignore your passions.

God is in all of this, not so much that we are puppets dangling on strings, and God has fun watching us dance and our faces contort. God is more "God with us," and we need not compromise who we are, who we have shaped to be, even as God requires that we be flexible and let our vision to expand to encompass His.

Spoken from a girl who knows very little about living consistently with a peace that God is in control.

I love you. I think of you often.